Befuddled by Bowing

I've found that some of my expectations in coming to Handong, those that I had formed mainly from recollections of my experiences here in the summer of 2004, were mistaken or, at best, confused. One of those expectations was that the students and the faculty at Handong possessed a greater sense of genuine commitment to the things that matter in life -- God, others, justice, mercy and peace.

There's no doubt that I have found an enthusiasm among the students and most faculty, but what I'm beginning to think is that the zeal I'm seeing and hearing in many (though, I'm sure not all) is more "worked-up" than "grown-up" -- more like an "event enthusiasm" than a genuine way of looking at life born from experiences that challenge our faith and cultivate hope in God rather than in ourselves.

One of the most telling signs of this enthusiasm is the outward respect shown by the students to their teachers. I recall once when I was walking across campus on my first visit here five years ago that I was completely caught off guard when two students who were approaching me on the sidewalk literally stopped and simultaneously bowed to me. I wasn't even wearing a coat and tie! I was in shorts and a t-shirt, yet they still saw me as an American professor and so reacted with an outward show of respect that this culture cultivates.

Now that I've returned and have been here for five weeks, I still see students bowing to their professors. It puzzled me at first. How was I to respond? Do you just smile and accept the cultural "homage" or is it appropriate for me to bow in return? I felt uneasy just standing there or walking on without acknowledging the student who had bowed. So, I've been bowing back -- trying to express my respect for them.

What I've noticed, though, is that the bow is not so much an expression of respect or recognition as it was the Korean version of our polite greeting: "How are you?" Most who offer that greeting to others are not really listening for a response as they are expecting merely to hear the routine "Fine, and you?" We pass each other with these greetings, but rarely do we listen for words that reveal. We're too focused on pursuing our own path to be interrupted by others.

You would think, though, that a bow would prompt you to pause -- to reflect -- to actually see the other person. Yet, while there is an "enthusiasm" about showing outward respect to others and even to God through the many worship services and the informal gatherings for praise, worship and prayer -- the bowing that is going on seems to be more a show for others to see that I'm doing what is expected of me than a genuine expression of heart and mind.

Maybe after five weeks I'm just beginning to wake up from the illusions that I've had about life here. Maybe what I'm actually realizing is that people here are the same as people everywhere. We all struggle with wearing masks so that others only see what we want them to see -- what we think they expect to see from us. We all need to admit that we're just putting on the mask for the day -- we all need (as Michael Card sings) to pray for the grace to tear off the mask and see the art of our face.

Bowing is a good thing whether the one bowing is just bowing on the outside and not on the inside or whether the bow is indeed sincere. I think it is, at a minimum, a step in the right direction. I'm hoping that I will become more deliberate about my bowing -- truly seeing the other person and becoming, I hope, more concerned about the things that really matter in life.

Here's that song from Michael Card. Its called "The Poem of Your Life"



May He continue to write the poem of each of our lives even through disappointments and mistaken expectations.