Today's class didn't begin until 4:45pm, so I had the entire day to work in my office; preparing my course syllabus, lecture notes and outline. And even though I have been working on my class preparation for over a week, I still managed to make a mathematical error in calculating the total points from the case studies, unit exams and final examination that I've planned for the course. It's good, though, to admit such a basic mistake the first day to demonstrate that I'm just a regular guy -- or at least that's what I tell myself.
Another wondrous thing about teaching here at Handong is the fact that the university encourages the faculty to not only think about the impact of our Christian faith on the subjects we teach, but also to practice our faith before our students. So, I explained to the class that it would be my practice to begin each session with a prayer since in praying we acknowledge that God exists and we admit that we need Him. And then, we prayed together and sought God's blessing and direction in our learning.
After covering the course syllabus and an overview of the class topics, I concluded the class with a brief account of my own law school experiences. I had written about them some years ago, and I thought it might be a good way to introduce myself to my fellow law students. Here's what I read to them:
The Three Longest Years
In the summer of 1983, I was looking ahead to three years of law school. If what I had read in Scott Turow’s book One L, and what I had seen portrayed by John Houseman in the film The Paper Chase, was right, I was on the threshold of three of the most difficult and challenging years – the three longest years – of my life. I had come to law school at Saint Louis University married and with three small children, yet still convinced that I was heeding God’s call. Succeeding was not my first concern; survival would be sufficient. I found assurance in the story of Daniel and his companions who were forced by their captors to study for three years in Babylon, but were preserved by God and through his strength stood firm in faith. (Daniel 1)
Saint Louis University School of Law
The first year started well enough. My journal entries for those early months in the fall of ’83 contain scattered references to “opportunities to speak to others about the things of God,” “speaking at length to a 3d year student who is a Mormon” and even a few brief accounts of Bible studies with fellow law students. But, by the middle of the spring term, the journal read “preoccupied with school work and job projects . . . so no regular personal quite time.” Though I had begun my studies as a believer seeking to practice the discipline of daily devotions, the demands of law school had steadily pushed Bible reading and prayer time out of my daily routine. I started thinking less about God and more about me.
I had succumbed to the first year of law school. It had indeed “scared me to death,” and as I entered the second year, I was well on my way to being “worked to death.” My journal attests to this since I had completely left-off all entries by the summer of ’84. Although I had been convinced that the Lord was leading me to law school, I was no longer looking to Him to lead me through it. I began pursuing my own personal interests rather than seeking my family’s best interests. When interviews came around for summer internships, I signed-up with the big firms in hopes of landing a select position. Clerking for one of the largest firms in St. Louis that summer, I was lured all the more into aspiring to a life of affluence. Unlike my hero Daniel in Babylon, I began to dine at the king’s table.
My third year experience was true to form. I was, for the most part, “bored to death.” I had a prize offer to join the firm with whom I had done my internship. They even agreed to fore go the ordinary rotation through their other practice areas and allowed me to plan on moving right into litigation. I was set. What I had forgotten, though, was how I had come to succeed when at first my thought had only been of survival. I was reminded through failure. I failed to win the trial advocacy competition and I failed to attain the final class rank for which I had been striving. Through those failures, the Lord called me back to him and gave me a renewed sense of his grace and of my need for constant dependence upon him. He alone had given me the grace and knowledge to succeed through my three longest years.
To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. ~ Daniel 1:17
After class, several students stayed behind and expressed their appreciation. Two even wanted to work as my teaching assistant. On the whole, though, this first day of class has been a challenged. I'm truly exhausted, physically (from all the walking across campus and climbing of stairs -- did I tell you that my class is in a different building than my office?) as well as emotionally. I would greatly value your continued prayers for God's grace and strength through each day.
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